Apathy at the face of possible death.

So yes. Please ignore that status that's saying I'm pro'lly dead because you're reading this and this blog shows that I am not dead.

Lazy, yes. Dead, no.

I'm feeling a little like blogging. It's been too long since the last blog.

So here goes.

I just realized how apathetic I am truly.

You see I went on a fieldtrip to Batangas for Kaspil2 with my groupmate for that class. We rode on a bus. Now when we were on our way to Taal from Batangas, the bus took this shortcut. Only, truth be told the shortcut was more trouble than the main road.

We were on this twisty and narrow road uphill. Yes, that's uphill. When all of a sudden the bus stops. We were on a slant and the bus driver was applying the breaks so that we wouldn't roll down to our deaths.

Suddenly the breaks failed and we rolled backwards a couple of inches. This caused bedlam to ensue.

God, almost everyone was screaming and talking. They said prayers, they tried to call loved ones, they screamed those high-pitched screams that seemed to grate on my nerves. I don't know if they actually believed they were going to die.

Where was I?

Did I scream? Did I worry about my soul?

What would- could have possibly been my last thoughts if we did plunged to our deaths on a bus rolling downhill backwards?

I will tell you. They went along the lines of:

"I wish I could get some sleep before I die."

Yes. No screaming. No worried thoughts. No thinking of who I wish I could have said goodbye to. Just that one single thought.

My second thought, the one that came when the bus finally roared back to life but was still unable to move forward was:

"Drat, I haven't finished reading The Imposter yet."

For some reason I didn't feel much of fear. I just sat there on my seat. Hands entwined together and resting on my abdomen, eyes closed and hoping the noise would stop and wishing that if I did die I could still read my books.

I don't really think it was bravery or courage but more of acceptance of what could have happened. And a great deal of apathy. And pro'lly the result of lack of sleep.

But since I am alive and well(after some food and sleep), you know that the bus managed to move upwards and we managed to get to the end destination. Still now that I think about it, it was kind of fun, despite the others thinking that they were going to die.

But I really would love to know if they truly believed that they were going to die or if they were just caught up in the moment.